Some of you are more familiar with my life story than others. If you have read my bio then you know that I am the son of a serial killer. My father confessed to killing five individuals. He was sentenced to die by lethal injection on August 31, 2011. All of these individuals were killed (unbeknownst to us) while I was growing up and living with my father. You are probably familiar with the saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I would like to share with you that this apple isn’t even on the same planet as that tree.
In honor of Father’s Day that just passed, this blog is not only to fathers but to all the men. How can you make a difference and make sure other apples don’t turn into the trees that are bad for society? I might suggest that being a positive role model is something you can contribute. I mention this because I believe that one reason that I didn’t turn out like my father is because I had men in my life that were excellent role models.
One such role model was Chuck McCutcheon. He was the father of my best friend in middle school. I spent many nights at the McCutcheon house. When at their home, it wasn’t that I spent a lot of time with Chuck. I was usually too busy playing in the woods with his son Michael. It was that he was the man of the house that provided a safe place and was an encouraging model for how to be a husband and a father.
I could list several other role models like Don Montgomery and the prison guard that let me and my brothers work for him while my father spent time in prison. But the point I am trying to make isn’t so much about my role models as it is the role model you can be and the difference you can make.
There are great organizations out there like Big Brothers that give opportunities to make a difference in the life of a youth. However, making a positive impact doesn’t require belonging to or participating in a formal organization. One doesn’t have to look far or hard for opportunities. Think of the boys on your street that don’t have an involved father. Think of the boys at your church that don’t have actively involved or positive fathers. Think of the friends of your children and grandchildren that don’t have fathers. The list goes on and on. It could even be a refugee family that has 6 children. (This is the boy’s life in which I try to make a positive difference.)
It doesn’t require money to make a difference. You can invite them over to dinner. You can invite them to be a part of your family at special events such as a Thanksgiving meal. You can invite them over to help you do yard work. (It is amazing how much work they will do that you can’t get your own children to do.) It can be showing up at a sporting event or school activity.
Being a positive male role model could help prevent the next High School dropout or even the next serial killer. Please take an interest in a child and make a difference for someone. It made a difference for this son of a serial killer.