Apples

Some of you are more familiar with my life story than others.  If you have read my bio then you know that I am the son of a serial killer. My father confessed to killing five individuals. He was sentenced to die by lethal injection on August 31, 2011. All of these individuals were killed (unbeknownst to us) while I was growing up and living with my father.  You are probably familiar with the saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  I would like to share with you that this apple isn’t even on the same planet as that tree.

In honor of Father’s Day that just passed, this blog is not only to fathers but to all the men. How can you make a difference and make sure other apples don’t turn into the trees that are bad for society? I might suggest that being a positive role model is something you can contribute. I mention this because I believe that one reason that I didn’t turn out like my father is because I had men in my life that were excellent role models.

One such role model was Chuck McCutcheon. He was the father of my best friend in middle school. I spent many nights at the McCutcheon house. When at their home, it wasn’t that I spent a lot of time with Chuck. I was usually too busy playing in the woods with his son Michael. It was that he was the man of the house that provided a safe place and was an encouraging model for how to be a husband and a father.

I could list several other role models like Don Montgomery and the prison guard that let me and my brothers work for him while my father spent time in prison. But the point I am trying to make isn’t so much about my role models as it is the role model you can be and the difference you can make.

There are great organizations out there like Big Brothers that give opportunities to make a difference in the life of a youth. However, making a positive impact doesn’t require belonging to or participating in a formal organization. One doesn’t have to look far or hard for opportunities. Think of the boys on your street that don’t have an involved father. Think of the boys at your church that don’t have actively involved or positive fathers. Think of the friends of your children and grandchildren that don’t have fathers. The list goes on and on. It could even be a refugee family that has 6 children. (This is the boy’s life in which I try to make a positive difference.)

It doesn’t require money to make a difference. You can invite them over to dinner. You can invite them to be a part of your family at special events such as a Thanksgiving meal. You can invite them over to help you do yard work. (It is amazing how much work they will do that you can’t get your own children to do.) It can be showing up at a sporting event or school activity.

Being a positive male role model could help prevent the next High School dropout or even the next serial killer. Please take an interest in a child and make a difference for someone. It made a difference for this son of a serial killer.

Spoiled

Have you ever stayed in a hotel, looked out your window and been frustrated with the view? You might think, “If only I was on the other side of the hallway. The view on that side of the hotel is awesome.”  Have you ever had an evening out at a special event and been frustrated that your seat is so far toward the back? You might be thinking, “If only I was a little closer.” I believe that many people have been in these types of situations at various times and have complained about it. If we spent the same amount of time counting our blessings as we do complaining I can only imagine how much happier we all would be. Let me share a recent experience that demonstrates how spoiled and unappreciative we can be.

 I just returned this week from a company incentive trip. We spent just about a week in the beautiful country of Switzerland. We spent the time at the Fairmont Hotel on Lake Geneva in Montreaux. You could look across the lake and see the mountains jet straight up into the heavens. The green bases led right up to the snow covered peaks. One of our excursions was a day trip to The Top of Europe. The last four miles of the journey was a train ride through the mountain to the peak. We had lunch in a restaurant that looked out over the glacier topped mountain. We also had the opportunity while there to walk through the Ice Palace, which was a walk through an ice tunnel looking at ice sculptures. One of the great things about the trip was that since it was a reward for reaching company goals all the expenses were picked up by the company.

With all of these wonderful things provided to us, it amazed me to hear so much complaining. In order to believe it all you probably would have needed to be present. Can you believe people complained about the view outside their room window?  I heard  comments such as, “Can you believe that I am on the backside of the hotel and I can only see the bottom of the mountain?”  The comments about seating arrangements at the awards dinner were plentiful. “How can you carry on a conversation when the people on the other side are so far away?” The complaining went on and on. I can’t say that I was innocent. I found myself doing my fair share too.

As I had time to reflect I couldn’t help but think about how spoiled I am. There are many people that would have roomed next to the boiler if they had the opportunity to spend the week in Switzerland. I am truly blessed to have great employment in tough economic times, the opportunity to travel the world with someone else picking up the tab, great health when others struggle with ailments and a great family when others struggle with relationships.

Take time to count your blessings. Your day will go much better if you spend time reflecting on your blessings. My challenge to you would be to think of one blessing each day. From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. (John1:16)